Andrew Álvarez Chardón

Pensando en voz alta.

Andrew Alvarez Chardon Pensando en Voz Alta Código Secreto

Programa especial de topicos generales mundiales que incluyen a Puerto Rico y EE. UU.  Este programa de investigación antropológia es dirigido por el antropólogo Andrew Alvarez Chardón.  Interesante por demás especialista en investigaciones.

Andrew Álvarez Chardón PhD
Doctor en Antropología Ambiental (Ecología Humana) y Profesor en diversas Universidades en PR
• Conferenciante en diversos centros universitarios locales e internacionales


Andrew Álvarez Chardón PhD
Doctor en Antropología Ambiental (Ecología Humana) y Profesor en diversas Universidades en PR
• Conferenciante en diversos centros universitarios locales e internacionales
• Instructor en al área de seguridad y política internacional
• Investigador Científico de los Fenómenos Paranormales
• Músico, autor y compositor de música secular
• Autor de diversos proyectos musicales para documentales y programas de televisión

Experiencia en los Medios de Comunicación:

• Talento, conductor, productor e investigador en “Código Secreto” programa que se transmite a través de Mega TV de PR. los miércoles a las 9 de la noche y los domingos de costa a costa en los Estados Unidos a través de Mega TV.

• Productor y conductor de su programa radial “La Otra Realidad” los viernes de 10 de la noche a 12 de la madrugada por radio isla 1320 am y vía internet

• Columnista en el rotativo Primera Hora en Puerto Rico con su columna “La Ultima Frontera”.

• Recurso y colaborador fijo en las estaciones de radio de SBS en P.R. (Z-93 FM, La Mega 106.9 FM, Estéreo Tempo 99.9 FM y Reggaetón 94 FM).

En adición a los medios de comunicación:

• Ha participado en congresos y simposios internacionales sobre diversos temas entre ellos: Ecología Humana; Política Internacional, Antropología Ambiental; Parasicología; Fenómenos Paranormales; Yoga y temas afines.

• Conferenciante de diversos temas.


5G Network: How It Works and Is It Dangerous?

By Tim Childers July 17, 2019

The fifth generation of cellular technology, 5G, is the next great leap in speed for wireless devices.  This speed includes both the rate mobile users can download data to their devices and the latency, or lag, they experience between sending and receiving information.

5G aims to deliver data rates that are 10 to 100 times faster than current 4G networks.  Users should expect to see download speeds on the order of gigabits per second (Gb/s), much higher than the tens of megabits per second (Mb/s) speeds of 4G.

“That’s significant because it will enable new applications that are just not possible today,” said Harish Krishnaswamy, an associate professor of electrical engineering at Columbia University in New York.  “Just for an example, at gigabits per second data rates, you could potentially download a movie to your phone or tablet in a matter of seconds.  Those type of data rates could enable virtual reality applications or autonomous driving cars.”

Apart from requiring high data rates, emerging technologies that interact with the user’s environment like augmented reality or self-driving cars will also require extremely low latency. For that reason, the goal of 5G is to achieve latencies below the 1-millisecond mark.  Mobile devices will be able to send and receive information in less than one-thousandth of a second, appearing instantaneous to the user.  To accomplish these speeds, the rollout of 5G requires new technology and infrastructure. 

The new network

Since the earliest generation of mobile phones, wireless networks have operated on the same radio-frequency bands of the electromagnetic spectrum. But as more users crowd the network and demand more data than ever before, these radio-wave highways become increasingly congested with cellular traffic. To compensate, mobile providers want to expand into the higher frequencies of millimeter waves.

Millimeter waves use frequencies from 30 to 300 gigahertz, which are 10 to 100 times higher than the radio waves used today for 4G and Wi-Fi networks.  They are called millimeters because their wavelengths vary between 1 and 10 millimeters, whereas radio waves are about centimeters.

The higher frequency of millimeter waves may create new lanes on the communication highway.  Still, there is one problem: Millimeter waves are easily absorbed by foliage and buildings and will require many closely spaced base stations, called small cells.  Fortunately, these stations are much smaller and require less power than traditional cell towers and can be placed atop buildings and light poles.

The miniaturization of base stations also enables another technological breakthrough for 5G: Massive MIMO.  MIMO stands for multiple-input multiple-output and refers to a configuration that takes advantage of the smaller antennas needed for millimeter waves by dramatically increasing the number of antenna ports in each base station.

“With a massive number of antennas — tens to hundreds of antennas at each base station — you can serve many different users at the same, increasing the data rate,” Krishnaswamy said.  At the Columbia high-Speed and Millimeter-wave IC (COSMIC) lab, Krishnaswamy and his team designed chips that enable both millimeter-wave and MIMO technologies.  “Millimeter-wave and massive MIMO are the two biggest technologies 5G will use to deliver the higher data rates and lower latency we expect to see.”

5G Benefits and its EffectsAlthough 5G will require more base stations, they will be much smaller and require less power than traditional cell towers. (Image credit: Shutterstock)

 Is 5G dangerous?

Although 5G may improve our day to day lives, some consumers have voiced concern about potential health hazards. Many of these concerns are over 5G’s use of higher energy millimeter-wave radiation.

“There’s often confusion between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation because the term radiation is used for both,” said Kenneth Foster, a professor of bioengineering at Pennsylvania State University.  “All light is radiation because it is simply energy moving through space.  It’s ionizing radiation that is dangerous because it can break chemical bonds.”

Ionizing radiation is the reason we wear sunscreen outside because short-wavelength ultraviolet light from the sky has enough energy to knock electrons from their atoms, damaging skin cells and DNA. Millimeter waves, on the other hand, are non-ionizing because they have longer wavelengths and not enough energy to damage cells directly.

“The only established hazard of non-ionizing radiation is too much heating,” Foster said, who has studied the health effects of radio waves for 50 years.  “At high exposure levels, radio frequency (RF) energy can indeed be hazardous, producing burns or other thermal damage, but these exposures are typically incurred only in occupational settings, near high-powered radio frequency transmitters, or sometimes in medical procedures gone awry.”

Many of the public’s outcries over the adoption of 5G echo concerns over previous generations of cellular technology.  Skeptics believe exposure to non-ionizing radiation may still be responsible for a range of illnesses, from brain tumors to chronic headaches. Over the years, there have been thousands of studies investigating these concerns.

In 2018, the National Toxicology Program released a decade-long study that found some evidence of an increase in brain and adrenal gland tumors in male rats exposed to the RF radiation emitted by 2G and 3G cellphones, but not in mice or female rats. The animals were exposed to levels of radiation four times higher than the maximum level permitted for human exposure.

Many opponents to the use of RF waves cherry-pick studies that support their argument, and often ignore the quality of the experimental methods or inconsistency of the results, Foster said.  Although he disagrees with many of the conclusion’s skeptics have about previous generations of cellular networks, Foster agrees that we need more studies on the potential health effects of 5G networks.

“Everyone I know, including me, is recommending more research on 5G because there’s not a lot of toxicology studies with this technology,” Foster said.

For the proponents of 5G, many believe the benefits 5G can provide to society far outweigh the unknowns.

“I think 5G will have a transformational impact on our lives and enable fundamentally new things,” Krishnaswamy said.  “What those types of applications will be and what that impact is, we can’t say for sure right now.  It could be something that takes us by surprise and changes something for society.  If history has taught us anything, then 5G will be another example of what wireless can do for us.”

Additional resources:


El Vacio en Tí


El significado de magia se pierde en cuanto a tú hermosura se trata. Quiero borrarte y bloquearte de los seguidores, pero estoy perdido y atado al encanto o mejor dicho al embrujo de tu belleza. Entonces así iremos irreversiblemente a vivir otra vida perdidos en el universo buscando algo que no existes en la mente de Dios.


Draókos (The Black Dragon)
Psicofilosofía Urbana es (c)1980
Copyright 1980 ICP







Jennifer Galvan Psychologist


“Emotion is more powerful than reason.  Emotion is the driving force behind thinking and reasoning.  Emotional intelligence increases the mind’s ability to make positive, brilliant decisions”. – Dr. T.P.Chia

Most of us are familiar with academic, creative, or analytical intelligence, but more recently, emotional intelligence is gaining more attention. Emotional intelligence is a form of understanding that consists of four skills.  The first is having emotional awareness.  In other words, having the ability to identify and label one’s own and others’ emotions.  This includes detecting emotions in the face and voice.  The second skill is the ability to harness one’s emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking or problem-solving.

Those with greater emotional intelligence are able to use their emotions to guide them toward their current tasks.  The third is understanding emotions and having the power to be empathic and sensitive to the variations between emotions.  Finally, the fourth is managing emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions and helping others regulate theirs.  With this skill, emotionally intelligent individuals can not only harness positive and negative emotions, they can also manage them in order to accomplish their goals.

Much like strengthening a muscle with physical exercise, emotional intelligence can also be developed through practice and application.

Ways to enhance EI skills include:

  1. Work on increasing self-awareness by allowing negative feelings to arise without an effort to avoid them or judge them. The more you can be candid with yourself, the faster you can identify what you are experiencing from within.  In other words, you are aware of your own “emotional bullshit”!
  2. Manage your emotions by objectively reflecting to see if your emotions are suitable for the situation and then acting accordingly.
  3. Practice empathy and recognize others’ emotional needs. You can do this by becoming conscious of verbal and non-verbal cues to try to understand others’ perspectives, and by putting yourself in their shoes.
  4. Become aware of your stressors by keeping track of things that increase your stress level and be proactive in taking steps to minimize them.
  5. Find ways to handle adversity by practicing optimism, asking constructive questions, and taking initiative toward solutions.

Greater emotional intelligence is positively correlated with greater social ability and interactions. This leads to more positive interpersonal relationships.  Individuals with higher emotional intelligence have greater academic achievements, work performance, and negotiating abilities.  They are often more effective coaches and leaders as well as more successful in business.  Overall, individuals with greater emotional intelligence display better psychological well-being from having more self-awareness, a greater ability to control strong emotions, and deeper, more intimate relationships from empathizing with others.

Jennifer Galvan, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Woodland Hills, California.  Dr. Galvan has several years of training and experience in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and has been part of many podcasts and seminars around diverse topics.  For more information, visit Dr. Galvan’s website at Jennifer Galvan or follow @dr.jennifergalvan on Instagram.

The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that Poosh, LLC (“Poosh”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services.

The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the author only, and Poosh does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article.  You understand and agree that Poosh shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.



Someone You Loved – Lewis Cappid

Lewis Cappid - Someone You Loved

Someone You Loved


Someone You Loved
I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It’s easy to say
But it’s never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It’s easy to say but it’s never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I’ll be safe in your sound ’til I come back around
For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you’re not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
Source: LyricFind

Teimpo de Reflexionar

La depreción y el suicidio

La Deperción


Pasamos por momentos difíciles que tomaron años de acumulación, ojalá existiera una barita mágica para arreglar todo en un momento, pero no es así.  La presión que siento sólo exacerba mi condición y aumenta negativamente mis emociones.  Si hubiera una píldora mágica la tomaría, pero es un proceso que toma tiempo.  Yo quiero sanar mis heridas, pero tampoco quiero ir a la prisa para desfallecer y volver a caer en el abismo.  La paciencia es una virtud que se debe aprender y que también toma mucho tiempo en conseguir.

No podemos obligar a las personas a recuperarse rápido, lo que resulta en mayor carga emocional y dilata el proceso de recuperación.  Esta temporada festiva del año no es buena para muchas personas, incluyéndome.  La depresión en los tiempos festivos son momentos para mantener la calma con aquellos que la sufren durante este tiempo.  El no facilitar el proceso de sanación afecta a los afectados.  Todos necesitamos ser sanados, cada uno de nosotros tenemos nuestras heridas de las que tenemos que recuperarnos.

Dense el espacio para hacerlo, el amor propio es lo primero, si no te amas primero, no puedes amar o ayudar a los demás.





Draókos (The Black Dragon)
Psicofilosofía Urbana es (c)1980
Copyright 1980 ICP


No Creo

El Todo es mente el universo es Mental.

El Mentalismo

No creo en nada de lo que veo, oigo, siento o huelo.  Nada es real, sólo existe Uno que no se ve y de quien no se sabe nada, sólo que Es, el invisible, aquel de quien habla Pablo de Saulo.  Nos llenamos el ego de todo lo que es banal, trivial y olvidamos que existe algo más grande que nosotros que no podemos imaginar.  Para el Todo, no existe lo bueno o lo malo, son simples grados de importancia.  El frio, por ejemplo, es lo mismo que el calor, solo existen grados por medio.  Para una persona que vive en el polo norte 300 bajo cero es frio y 600 grados es caliente.  Ahora dile lo mismo a uno que viva en la zona ecuatorial del planeta si 600 es caliente.

Todo es lo mismo y la verdad tan son sólo medias verdades.  No existe nada absoluto sólo el Todo es absoluto, y somos su creación mental.  El Todo es mente y el universo es mental.  ¿Yo soy yo?, seré el mismo de hace unos cinco minutos atrás, o tal vez 20 o 50 años atrás.  La respuesta definitiva es NO, todo cabía todo conforme a la ley de regeneración.  Nacemos, morimos.  Universos nacen y luego son destruidos.  Estos son probados por la ciencia, no lo digo yo.

El que dice que no cambiará, que es el mismo de siempre, se engaña así mismo pues esta ley es inquebrantable.  Vivimos prestados para aprender con cada lección de vida para ascender más cerca de nuestro verdadero origen.  El fanatismo nos consume y nos siega a verdades que son aparentemente imposibles de creer, pero como ya he explicado todas las verdades son medias verdades ya habrán pasado juicio sobre lo que he manifestado hasta el momento.

Sólo los grandes Maestros han logrado entender estas las leyes y no presumo de conocerlas a cabalidad, pues con cada día que pasa necesito saber más, aprender, entender e internalizar dichas enseñanzas.

Se habla de un Maestro que entendió a cabalidad lo que estas leyes significaban.  Fue condenado y crucificado para mostrar que se podía prosperar a un plano más elevado de existencia y los escribas de aquel entonces hablaron de ello.  Inclusive ha habido otros maestros que también lograron entender estas leyes, desde Abraham, Enoc, Elías, Moisés y Jesús, sin considerar los de otras culturas que también las compartían.

Entonces que soy.  Parte de un sueño, una idea creada para materializar en este plano físico de existencia.  Con cada interacción y cada vida ascenderemos a nuestro origen, eventualmente.  Entonces estaremos más cerca de Aquel quien no pensó, pues todo y está en su mente y no existe nada fuera de ella.

Draókos (The Black Dragon)
Psicofilosofía Urbana es (c)1980
Copyright 1980 ICP

Where is the Technology

Tricoders Voyager

Are we there yet?

I am from a generation gap that watched Star Trek every day.  The Original Series (1966–1969).  Star Trek: The Original Series, frequently abbreviated as TOS, debuted on NBC on September 8, 1966.  I was ten years old; I could not stop watching this TV series.  The show tells the tale of the crew of the starship USS Enterprise and its five-year mission “to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

I saw an announcement of some thermal gloves of cutting edge technology, and in my appreciation, they were too thick.  When you claim advanced technology, you have to consider many variables, for example, electric, solar, mini, or sub-mini and very thin components, state of the art practical wear.  You want to have these capabilities to freely move around.  They would be outstanding if that technology were as slim as skin.  You want to keep your hands hot.  In turn, this will send a message to the brain, saying that you are warm, but you also want to have the feeling that you are not wearing anything.

Sorry I am from the 60s Star Trek and all related series that follow.  Star Trek Generations, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine, but I have yet to see more advanced technology after 50+ years of the commencement of the series.  All this talk about future Fantasy.  I do not include Star Wars that was released on May 25, 1977.  First subtitled Episode IV – A New Hope in the 1979 book The Art of Star Wars, or Back to the Future Back to the Future opened on July 3, 1985, on 1,200 screens in North America and all that has come out afterward.  I know we as a human race have come a long way in technology but, 50+ years?

Let us present a few examples: I am a USAF veteran that served from December 1974 through November 1982.  I have seen up and close the Aircraft SR-71 most commonly known as Black Bird.  It is more like a spaceship than an aircraft.  For reference, I just did a Google search on the information of the Black Bird design and in-service.  Google is telling me, and I quote: “ The original Blackbird was designated the A-12 and made its first flight on April 30, 1962. The single-seat A-12 soon evolved into the larger SR-71, which added a second seat for a Reconnaissance Systems Officer and carried more fuel than the A-12.  The SR-71’s first flight was on December 22, 1964. This information is taken from

In my duty station, I was informed that SR-71 was coming to the base.  I talked to the Captain in charge of my unit, and he told me, maybe to impress a young adult, that the design was started in 1956, 63 years ago.  Could you imagine that?  1956.  Back in 1978, this aircraft was Top Secret and it was immediately taken in a hanger so that no one could see it.  This jet is a long-range, supersonic reconnaissance aircraft capable of flying at Mach 3.2.

When it first flew, it was a fantastic performer and still is after three decades of unmatched capabilities. The SR-71 has serviced the United States for more than 35 years.  What the public sees now is what the government or whatever power wants you to see.  Behind sealed doors, there is more than meets the eye.  (Believe it or not, I am not troubled by it).

The second example I want to acknowledge is medical technology.  While in the military, I hurt my cervical, back spine, and my right knee.  In 1976, MRIs or CT Scans did not exist.  Some x-rays were taken and dismiss it as nothing to be a concern.  In the first series of Star Trek, they had what was called a Tricorder.  It would function as scanning anything, life signs, medical conditions, universal translator, database information, and recording anything the explorers could gather.  Are we even closed to this miniature technology?  Our CT-Scan and MRI machines are humongous.  Can we see through walls, can we replicate any components or food?  Can we dematerialize and rematerialize in another part of the world?

Do you remember the movie “The Fly”?  The Fly is a 1958 American science fiction-horror film produced and directed by Kurt Neumann and starring David Hedison, Patricia Owens, Vincent Price, and Herbert Marshall. The screenplay by James Clavell based on the 1957 short story of the same name by George Langelaan.  The film tells the story of a scientist who was transformed into a grotesque creature.  A common housefly enters unseen into a molecular transporter he is experimenting with, resulting in his atoms being combined with those of the insect, which produces a human-fly hybrid.

Can we produce paper-thin bulletproof glass (Remember when Kirk had to return to earth to bring back a humpback whale to save the planet?  How about cars so light that their body is made of plastic harder than stainless steel.  Can we make Sky Walker laser sword or canons, sonic weapons, I know some exists but not used, and I am talking miniature?

Today we are yet to see a supercomputer that mimics the human brain.  The Human Brain Project was or is part of research to produce this technology by 2020, but it seems a dud.  I honestly was looking forward to this project’s success.  They intended to treat neurological illnesses like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.  This treatment, in turn, would provide viable solutions to emotional conditions, in general, like schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, and many other neurological issues.  Many brotherhood Veterans like me would have benefited greatly from this technology.



Draókos (The Black Dragon)
Psicofilosofía Urbana es (c)1980
Copyright 1980 ICP


When You Don’t Want to Be Here, but You’re Too Afraid to Die

Share on PinterestIllustration by Brittany England

I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die.

I typed this into Google a year ago, my hands shaking as I questioned what I meant. I didn’t want to be alive or exist anymore. But at the same time, I didn’t quite want to die.

I felt selfish as I typed it, thinking about all of the people who had been suicidal, worrying that I was being disrespectful to those who had actually lost their lives that way. I also wondered whether I was just being dramatic.

But I pressed enter anyway, desperate to find an answer for what I was feeling. To my surprise, I was met with search after search of the exact same question.

“I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist,” read one.

“I’m suicidal but I don’t want to die,” read another.

And then I realized: I’m not being silly. I’m not being stupid or melodramatic or attention-seeking. There were so many other people feeling the exact same way. And for the first time, I didn’t feel quite so alone.

But I still felt what I felt. I felt distant from the world and from myself; my life felt almost as though it were on autopilot.

I was aware of my existence, but I wasn’t really experiencing it. It felt like I had become separate from my own self, as though a part of me was just watching my body go through the motions. Daily routines like getting up, making the bed, and working the day away felt almost mechanical. I was in a toxic relationship and heavily depressed.

My life had become repetitive and, in many ways, unbearable.

And I questioned what the point in that was, exactly. Why continue living if I didn’t actually feel like I was alive?

I started to imagine what people’s lives would be like without me in it. I wondered what would happen after I died. I was bombarded with intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings, urges to hurt myself, and feelings of despair.

But there was one thing contradicting that: I was scared to die.

So many questions would run through my head when I thought about actually ending my life.

What if I attempted to kill myself and it went wrong? What if it went right, but in the last few moments of my life I realized I had made a mistake and regretted it? What exactly happens after I die? What happens to the people around me? Could I do that to my family? Would people miss me?

And these questions would eventually lead me to the question, do I really want to die?

The answer, deep down, was no. And so I held on to that to keep me going, that little glimmer of uncertainty every time I thought about ending my life. If that tiny bit of unease was still there, there was a chance I’d be making the wrong decision.

There was a chance that a part of me thought that things could get better.

But it wasn’t going to be easy. Things had been going downhill for a long time. I had been suffering with severe anxiety caused by PTSD for several months, which had escalated to daily panic attacks. I experienced a constant feeling of dread in my stomach, tension headaches, body tremors, and nausea.

This had been taking over my life for so long until, all of a sudden, I snapped.

That’s when everything went numb. It was a huge turning point, going from feeling everything at once to feeling nothing at all.

And, in all honesty, I think the nothingness was worse. The nothingness, combined with the same daily routine and toxic relationship, made my life feel utterly worthless. At the end of my rope, I turned to Google. No one ever really explained how to cope with suicidal ideation, particularly when you don’t really want to die.

Scrolling through post after post, I realized that actually, a lot of people understood. A lot of people knew what it was like to not want to be here anymore but not want to die.

We had all typed in the question with one expectation: answers. And answers meant we wanted to know what to do with our feelings instead of ending our lives.

Realizing this gave me hope. It told me that if these people, like me, were still here — despite feeling all the same feelings — I could stay, too.

And maybe, I hoped, that meant that deep down, we all wanted to hold on to see if things could get better. And that we could.

My mind had been clouded by the anxiety, despair, monotony, and a relationship that was slowly destroying me. And because I had felt so low, so numb and empty, I hadn’t actually taken a step aside to really and truly look at this. To look at how things could get better if I attempted to make changes.

The reason I thought I was just existing was because I really was. I was miserable and I was stuck. But I hadn’t picked apart my life to realize why.

I can’t say that in one day everything changed, because it didn’t. But I did start to make changes. I started to see a therapist, who helped me gain some perspective. My toxic relationship ended. I was devastated about it, but things improved so quickly as I started to exercise my independence.

Yes, I still got up every morning and made the bed, but the rest of the day would be at my hands, and slowly but surely, that started to excite me. I think a huge part of feeling as though I was just some form of existence was because my life was so predictable. Now that that had been taken away, everything seemed new and exciting.

With time, I felt like I was living again, and most importantly, that I had and have a life worth living.

I still suffer with mental illness. There are still bad days, and I know there always will be.

But knowing that I got through this truly difficult time in my life gives me the motivation to get through any other bad moments again. It’s given me the strength and determination to carry on.

And despite the way I was feeling at the time, I’m so glad I Googled that question. I’m so glad I realized I wasn’t alone. And I’m so glad I trusted that unease when it came to the idea of taking my own life. Because that unease led me to living a life I’m actually happy to be living.

What I want you to know — especially if, like me, you found yourself here through a Google search or a headline that caught your attention at the right time — is this: No matter how lonely or awful you feel, please know that you’re not alone.

I’m not going to tell you it isn’t a horrible, scary feeling. I know that better than most. But I promise you things can and often do get better. You just have to hold on to that doubt, however small it might be. That doubt is there for a reason: There’s an important part of you that knows your life isn’t over yet.

And speaking from experience, I can assure you that small, nagging feeling is telling you the truth. There’s a future you who will be so glad you listened.

Hattie Gladwell


Hattie Gladwell is a mental health journalist, author, and advocate. She writes about mental illness in hopes of diminishing the stigma and to encourage others to speak out.