Llegaré


Tormentas Tropicalse

¿Algún día llegaré a entenderme?  El empeño de saber quién soy, qué soy y para qué soy.  Algún día sabre el propósito, tal vez nunca lo sepa.  ¿Es esto importante saber?  ¿Por qué me fijo en querer saber?  ¿Qué remedio tiene?

Esta cabeza sólo se empeña en descubrir, en saber, en querer conquistar el conocimiento de lo desconocido.  ¿Con qué propósito?  No soy un genio, no soy poeta o escritor y he llegado a una etapa inerte en mi vida y no consigo sincerarme conmigo.

Necesito saber si soy honesto conmigo, o vivo en una ilusión de un mundo que no existe y de ser así, en donde estoy, de donde vengo, por qué no entiendo o me abro la puerta a nuevas oportunidades, aunque duelan.  La verdad es que tengo terror al dolor, mi alma no lo soporta, me aprieta las vísceras y no me deja funcionar.

El troyano que insertaron en mi a desprogramado todos los constructos que me hacían valiente e intrépido.  Me pregunto si tal vez alguna vez lo fui o ahora me doy cuenta de que no era mi realidad.

¿Qué loquera es esta que me corroe por dentro?  ¿Será mi ambiente, mi entorno deprimente?  ¿Necesitaré huir de mi alegada realidad?  ¿Cómo me sincero conmigo si desconozco o no quiero enfrentarme a esa realidad que me aterroriza?

Meditaré y trataré de relajar mi mente atormentada, dejaré que pase el tiempo.  Existe un dicho que dice que “no hay mal que dure mil años”.

Draókos (The Black Dragon)
Psicofilosofía Urbana es (c)1980
Copyright 1980 ICP

Brain Rewiring


Cognitive Entanglement

What are we?

 

Brain Rewiring

The programs in my brain have been triggering thru out my life without me knowing what was going on.  A series of systems of updates that trigger by themselves at some point in my life.  Now I feel like someone has just flipped on a switch and another update subroutine is running, and I do not know what will happens to me next.

Is like another program has taken over, rewriting all my system code, brain rewiring.  All at the biochemical level.  What has triggered these code updates thru out my life and why am I expressing myself in English instead of my native language, Spanish.

Something is happening to me it seems, or I perceive that I am not me, ever since Nellis AFB 1975, I have been under the impression that I do not belong in this world.  I do not understand how I can score high grades in Academia but seem to make a lot of poor judgments on personal life experiences.

Always I seem to make or take the wrong decisions and do not know why.  I do not even know if I am been honest with myself to face whatever wrong is going on in my like.

 

The Bigger Picture

When we face ourselves in a personal situation, we think that we are the only one going thru that experience.  We only see conditions thru a microscope.  We go along our daily lives as being the center of the universe.  Only I.  But if we were to look thru a micron microscope, we begging to see more than a small and straightforward organism or situation, we see much more.

Now we went from micro to micron in an instant.  Let us take it up a notch, let’s use a simple telescope, and we could see the moon and planets close by, but let us use the Hubble telescope or other ultrahigh radio frequency telescope and begin to see galaxies, and other solar systems light-years away.

We are not individual units but a cumulative of quintillions of groups that form an organize live space structure.  In our lives, we only see single events, but the truth is that there are more than a single event happening in a single moment in time.  Take a photo and freeze that moment in time but, have we really captured just that only split-second moment or is there more moments within that one moment?

One conduct could be a friendly conversation taking place between to sensitive individuals.  At the same time, you will have an equal number of aggressive incidences taken place, but we do not think about it, and we choose to ignore it and make it as part of typical life event.  We assume it has a purpose but does it?

Could we prevent what we perceive to be a negative situation or wrong or not acceptable?  Could we let one person die, be it whom it may (elderly, man, woman, child, or any human being on the planet) and say is part of a bigger plan and let it happen?  Are we interfering?  Are we indifferent?  It is what it is?  The value of human life has a price.  Does the soul of human experience have a cost?

Draókos
Psicofilosofía Urbana (c)1980
Copyright 1980 JoeAbbis ICP